Alone

Prisoners of Love Community: Support Forum: Alone
By
jam on Friday, August 18, 2000 - 05:08 pm:

As I found this site, I felt good, lots of info. So where is the support ??

Over one million people in prison and only two people in this site??

This is sad but so typical. Don't worry your not alnoe, Keep your head up.


By sharon on Friday, August 18, 2000 - 05:09 pm:

I ran across this page and decided to post a message to see if I could find someone to "talk" to sometimes when the frustration of my boyfriends imprisonment gets to be too much for me. My family is totally against this, and with the exception of a couple close friends(who try to help out of love for me-though they could never fully understand) I'm left to deal with this situation alone...frustrated and sad. I never expected to find myself in this situation. I was working at juvenile hall when I met my boyfriend, who was then housed there. He had a difficult childhood and ended up getting caught up in a gang. I saw so much potential in him
(intelligent, athletic, talented, etc.) and did my best to try to teach him that there was much more ought there for him than a gang life. I helped numerous kids in there, but, when he left to CYA(he got sentenced to 15 yrs- for something one of his friends did), we kept in touch through letters. Eventually, we started developing feelings for each other, but I wouldn't allow anything to develop due to the age difference and my job. I eventually quit said job, and after about 1.5 yrs of him pursuing me....I gave in. It took a while for me to feel comfortable about it...his situation, our 10 yr age difference....but...trust me..I gave it alot of thought. One would never subject themselves to this type of relationship if it weren't real love. It's just to difficult to handle. I want with all my heart for us to be together, but I don't know what the future holds. In California, he has to do 85% of his sentence..which means release in 2008 at best. I am college educated, no kids, and would like to have a family. We dream of that together, but..I'm not getting any younger..and haven't made him any promises(which is difficult for him to take). He's made such great changes in his life...if only we could have met before this incident....it could have all been avoided. I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes. I visited him today...an would've gave anything to have him leave with me. I feel as though I'm just existing....can't truly be happy without him in my life. So alone....and just aching inside....hopine there's someone out there who can relate or provide encouraging words/experiences. I hope I didn't bore ya.....I just had to let this out...even if noone hears...=(


By Angel on Friday, August 18, 2000 - 05:15 pm:

Hello I understand how you feel being sad and alone!!!!!!!!!No one can ever understand my love for my furture husband.I to often find myself with no one to talk to that can understand!!!But what we must keep in mind if we feel this way how do the ones that love in prison feel?I would love to chat with you some please e-
mail me. Thank you


By wild flower on Friday, August 18, 2000 - 05:18 pm:

I just found this site and would love to e write and hear from anyone who has a boyfriend or husband in prison.Being fairly new to this I need some support and understanding from women who have and are in this type of relationship..


By karen on Tuesday, April 10, 2001 - 11:48 pm:

I too just found this site and am having a very hard time coping with my husband being in prison. Even writing the word PRISON is just so bizzare because I never in life would have thought that I would find myself in this position. I have 2 small children and find it hard just making it through the day. I know I would love someone to talk with so I can hold us together until he comes home. The incredible sadness and lonliness I feel is just overwhelming. My husband and I have never been apart in the 6 years we have been married and its driving me crazy not having him home. If someone reads this please e-mail me back so maybe we can help eachother get through this surrealistic nightmare we seem to have found ourselves in. I don't want to be alone anymore.


By Sonda on Monday, April 23, 2001 - 05:18 pm:

I have also found myself in a relationship that has been going on for about a year now. He still has about a year to go.(He's been in for 3) We started speaking on the phone when he would call over my sisters and and the letters started and eventually I knew I was in love with him. I live alone and don't drive (I've had my own stuff I had to deal with as well.)I can't just get in my car and go visit. It seems when I have a good day, they turn out to be the worst nights. I wish he could be here to share with about my day over dinner. Obviously, that can't happen but some days it is very hard to accept. I know I will be here for him when he comes home. I sometimes am afraid to tell him about my feelings of lonliness and that sometimes I have trouble coping. He is a very strong man emotionally, thank God. Sometimes he is the one "counselling" me. Anyway, it is tough, and I'm glad I found this site today. (I hope this made sense.)


By sonya on Monday, April 30, 2001 - 01:01 pm:

I just found this site today too. I met my fiance 10 years ago and fell hard for him. We were from different backgrounds and our families strongly objected. He was also 21 compared to my 16. We got together anyway and had a son. The stress finally got to much for him and he began doing drugs with his brothers. We split up and went on with our lives. He to the drugs, and I to marry a man I didn't love. What good did love do? It certainly wasn't enough to keep me happy before right? Well needless to say, I was wrong. I ended up divorced. In the mean time I found out that my true love was in prison for drugs. After my divorce I moved to Southern AZ to be near so that my son could visit his father. He is now clean and sober. We are planning to finally marry when he is released in Oct 2002. I have been writing for over a year and visit when I can. It is expensive to drive there though. 2 1/2 hours. I plan to hang in there. He is a wonderful man and the only one I have ever loved. He screwed up and he is paying for it. But I have waited 10years and I can wait a little longer.Hang in there girls and write if you want.


By turtlewoman_78 on Monday, May 28, 2001 - 09:40 pm:

Hi, my name is Amanda and i just happened upon this website by chance. I too, have my future husband incarcerated and sometimes feel like Dennis and I are the only ones going through this. It's very painful and sometimes I feel so alone, but unfortunately getting locked up is what made him realize all that he really did have on the outside. Well I just wanted to let u all know that there's yet another out there like u and anybody who wishes can write to me--I'd greatly welcome it as i don't have many friends and the ones i do just can't understand. Bye


By Jane on Sunday, June 3, 2001 - 05:28 pm:

Hello Ladies: There is more of us than we know. Thank God for this website. I have a fiancee in prison, too. It is very lonely. I am older, however, so more patient maybe. I've never had someone in my other relationships that loved me this much! We do some neat things to stay close besides the expensive telephone bills....like I asked him to send me a lock of his hair. They don't check his mail so he can really send anything he likes, unlike me! E-mail me, I'd like to share feelings and ideas with you! I never meant to fall in love with him. I was getting over the death of a previous boyfriend and my father and then we met. He had just lost his mother and was so alone. I had met her once and she knew the guy who had got killed and wanted me to meet her son. I did but after she died and then two days later he went off and commited his crime. I dropped him a line and said if you needed a friend...feel free to write or call. It has been two years. He is a loving man, who had a hard life. While he was waiting sentencing, he lost his five month old girl by a previous girlfriend before he met me. A man with alot on his mind. We both, however, give the other love, deep love, hopes and dreams. We take it day by day. We sometimes get caught up in the future...but it is too stressful...so I try to encourage him and myself to keep it in the present. He has many, many years!!!! e-mail: jkheras@aol.com


By ulli2411 on Wednesday, July 4, 2001 - 02:34 am:

Hello everybody,
reading all the messages here helps me a little to cope with my loneliness. Knowing that other women just like me are supporting their man in prison helps me a lot. My future husband is on Death Row and sometimes I don't know what to do.
He's been there for nearly 15 years, never receiving a fair trial with a public defender who had never handled a penalty case. My man is a black man the man that got killed was a white police officer. Nobody wanted to hear that he threatend my man with racial slurs holding a gun straight to his head. Nobody listened to the black whitnesses, even 3 of the black jurors have been excused by the DA.
Nobody figured that he must have feared for his life. They wanted him there and got him. If the officer would've been a normal white person he would've gotten life,(maybe even with parole) if it would've been another black person it would've been manslaughter or even less and he would probably be out by now.
Many times I sit at home and I think if we'd be rich and could hire a good team of lawyers he'd be free one day but to know that we are not and they might execute him one day is such a horrible thought that makes me wanna scream day and night.
I am alone on this matter because my family won't respect my love for a incarcerated especially if it comes to the point of marriage. Only my little 10 year old daughter gives me the strength to keep on fighting all the injustice, negativity and greed that surrounds us.She loves him too and that's why I know I have to keep on going.


By NOOK on Tuesday, July 31, 2001 - 12:00 am:

Hello Everyone
I never in a million years thought that I would be looking up websites for support groups for an incarcerated loved one. Well here I am feeling lost and alone. It has been 5 months and 2 days since they came and took my man away from me and our children and its killing me inside I cry practically everyday but that doesn't make it better, my kids are what keep me going and knowing that one day he will be home. But just wondering when is what is so hard. I have spent the last eight years with this man and then suddenly he was gone and I don't know what to do. Please someone email me I need some encouragement that it gets better. My family doesn't understand how this has really devastated me.


By Susan on Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 12:43 pm:

Nook
Believe me I know how you feel. My husband of 6 years was sentenced to 8 to 22 years on unarmed robbery charges. He has been in county jail for the past four months and was taken to Jackson State Prison in Michigan for quarentine until they decide where they are going to send him. He actually got to call me today! I was so happy just to hear his voice and know that he is okay. I know what you mean about crying as I do that all the time too although it is getting a little better. I find that it helps to stay as busy as possible and I also write lots of letters to him. It helps. My family trys to be understanding but there are still times when they say why arent you mad at him for what he did. Noone can truly understand until they have been there. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and if you ever need to just talk or something feel free to e-mail me. You're definately not alone.
Susan


By Jentza on Wednesday, August 1, 2001 - 05:21 pm:

Nook
No, you are not alone. We're out here and we know what you're going through.
You are at the begining of your journey and I am at the end of mine.
My husband has been incarcerated for 10 years. He went away when our son was 1, he's now eleven. My husband has had to watch him grow through pictures, letters and visits. My relationship with my husband over 10 years has been good and bad. There were times we both have just given up and times when we've been closer with each other then ever imagined. At times I felt like maybe I've wasted my life and other times I feel like maybe I was meant to be here to help him through this, maybe this was some of my purpose in life.
Anyway, now my husband has about 21 weeks till he comes home and we can't wait...
So I have been through every stage and phase that will come and pass as you go through this journey in your life and if I can help in anyway, let me know.
Good luck and I wish you and your family the best.
Jentza


By Kim jantzen on Wednesday, August 29, 2001 - 05:00 pm:

hello I just found this site. It is nice to know that I am not the only one going through this. i am also going through it with my boyfriend. He and i have never had the perfect relationship wi but we have always made it through the rough times. This time I will see. anyways I just wrote to say hi.

Kim


By Harley1man on Friday, September 7, 2001 - 07:34 pm:

Hello. I to have just found this site. My husband has been in 15 months and being apart from him has been the hardest thing for me. We have been married 11yrs and in those years have gone through some hard times, but this beats them all. I travel the 200 miles every weekend to see him and will continue to until he comes home. I know what all of you are going thru. You all just need to hang in there and really be supportive of your man no matter what. I have not told my co-workers because I do not want to make it harder on myself than it already is. My family and his family have really tried to be there for me, but it is not the same. I write him everyday, and send cards too, just to keep his spirits up and keep him informed of what is going on out here. I really do not have any close friends to talk to about what I am going thru. All I can say is that I am glad that I found this site and if anyone wants to talk please feel free to e-mail me.


By Pam Lytle on Monday, September 17, 2001 - 10:13 pm:

Hello to all. As I sit and read all the stories on this site it saddens me to think of all the pain and suffering that we all have go through. Unfortunately the majority of the time we have to do it alone. I am in the Dallas/Ft Worth area, if there happens to be anyone close that might be interested in getting together for a cup of coffee or a soda, for me personally I feel I need to be able to just sit and talk with someone that know what I am going through. This site is a blessing, but unfortunately my computer doesn't know how to hug. This is just the beginning of a long and very lonely journey for my family. If anyone is interested you can contact me at lpam@hotmail.com You all are in my prayers. God bless. Pam


By Blondie on Wednesday, October 3, 2001 - 02:54 pm:

HI I just found this site. Yesterday I said goodbye to my man at the foot of the steps of the Palais de Justice and he said 'I'll see you late tonight. It'll probably last a long time but I'll be home.' He wasn't. Later that evening after an afternoon of waiting for a call I had a call from his lawyer to say he was sentenced and is now in prison. Last night I couldn't sleep. I feel so alone. I live in France, I'm English & the system here is tough. I just need to talk to you out there who know what it's like. I just want him here but he can't be. It's unbearable.


By Kim Dukes on Thursday, October 4, 2001 - 12:14 pm:

We understand Blondie, My husband has been gone almost 4 months now. He has finally been able to call after about a 2 month phone black-out period. I see him once a month. He is my world and my soul. I somehow function, but "I" am not here. I want to hold him, to hear his soothing heartbeat in my ear. To feel his warmth, but alas...the system stole my life, all because he relapsed and California is really tough on Substance Abuse. What are the laws in France? Do you get family visits?... Contact visits? Is it anything like the meatlocker system here in the States? My husband is a little lucky. Though he is in one of the toughest prisons in CA, he is a level one... the detention area is DORM living, and there are no fences around HIS section. Still, people get into stupid fights, that almost kill people. I get scared sometimes... but life does go on... all you have to do is be strong for him, I know it seems too hard. Trust me, I know. Yet we must live. We must not let the system take our heart and soul along with our loved one.
Chin-up Blondie...there is a beautiful rainbow coming someday... he'll be home. You may have to wait awhile... but it will happen.

GOD BLESS ALL OF US OUT HERE, AS WELL AS THOSE WE LOVE IN THERE. KEEP THEM SAFE FROM ALL HARM... AND LET THEM COME OUT KNOWING THE WRONGS THEY MAY HAVE COMMITED AND BE WILLING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.


By Blondie on Thursday, October 4, 2001 - 01:54 pm:

To Kim Dukes
Thank you Kim. I just read your message & cried because you offered me understanding. Since Tuesday night I've been locked in my own prison. Can you understand that? I guess you can. Kim please email me I'd love to talk more to you.
Love & GOD BLESS YOU
Blondie


By Blondie on Monday, October 8, 2001 - 02:30 pm:

Hi Kim & everyone
Well week one gone! Tomorrow I am allowed a quarter of an hour visit. We will probably have to talk in French so that the watcher can follow our conversation.On Saturday I was allowed to take his clean clothes in. He was sent down on Tuesday so he must have been filthy & he's a very fastidious guy. I brought sneakers as he asked because his shoes hurt but wasn't allowed to send them in so home they came! Wasn't allowd to send his toiletries in either & treated like shit at the so called reception area-actually the main drive through of the prison. And this is a civilised country- My God!I'm getting very angry with everything. What am I suposed to do?


By brenda hall on Wednesday, October 24, 2001 - 09:35 pm:

Hello everyone. I like the rest of you have been in a relationship with a wonderful guy who is also incarcerated. I met him while working for DOC. He has been down for 10 years and just been turned down for the third time for parole. He has two years left and it's so hard being here alone. I visit him every weekend and we both cry when it's time to go. I knew he was the one the first time I laid eyes on him but I didn't pursue him because of my job.... until about 2 months later when he startes sneaking me letters. I've been on the net faithfully for the last two weeks working on his parole appeal. I just miss him so much and like I said it's so hard. Sometimes I just sit and cry because I yearn for us to be together so much. I found this site tonight while working his appeal and I'm glad I did, because I know that I'm not alone and that others share my same feelings. I would love to email alone interested in corresponding.

Brenda


By Rebecca on Monday, March 4, 2002 - 09:10 am:

Brenda, if you're still out there, I know how you feel. Really. For seven years now, I have been in love with my guy who is incarcerated, doing 25 years with 12 left to serve. I knew him when we were younger, lost touch with him over the years, and then discovered him in prison when I took a job as a clerk in the Texas prison system. I didn't know he was there, and it broke my heart to find him after all those years in prison. To make things much worse, I wasn't allowed to know him, but I did and I loved him. He told me he loved me, too. After three years of hiding my feelings, I quit the damn job, and we began writing eath other. But because I am a former prison employee, I have been told I will NEVER be allowed to see him again, not until he's released. Every day that I wake up and have to get through the day alone, I hate everything because he's not here with me, and I worry all the time about his safety (having seen first hand the cruelty of the prison system), but when he's come up for parole (five times now), he's been turned down, and this last time I was so sure this would be the time he would be allowed to come home! It's hit me really hard - the Parole Board's refusal - and I'm trying to be there for him, to keep him thinking positive, but in truth, I cry all the time these days. To make things worse, I live in a small town filled with people who work for the prison, and they all look on anyone who loves an inmate as "trash like him." I can't even tell my friends. I did tell my grown daughters the truth, but they disapprove strongly and don't accept that I can love a man in prison, refusing to consider he is the good person I have known all my life. If he does his entire sentence, I will be 65 when he comes home. And I envy the ladies who at least are allowed to visit their men; that means SO MUCH!!! It's killing me living this life all aone, but I wouldn't give him up for anything. If you'd like to talk, you can reach me at rebeccathut@yahoo.com during the week. I really would enjoy talking to someone who understands right now. Sorry this is so long - just wanted to tell someone, ANYone who could understand. Thanks for listening.
Rebecca


By Diona on Monday, March 4, 2002 - 12:51 pm:

I came across this site & I was very surprised that there are so many other women out there that are going through the same problems I am. I met my fiance through a friend of mine that was cell mates with him. We started writing one another, then it moved on to calling & finally I went to visit him. Our relationship started out as friends, but now we love one another very much & when he comes home we are planning on getting married. It's just very hard right now because I am feeling alone & I don't have anyone to talk to about it. My family doesn't know about him (except for my sister). My friends don't think much of him & like even less that I am going to wait for him so we can be married. They have even gone so far as to blame Erick for my slight financial situation because I have sent him some money! They don't seem to think that it was THEM that helped to put me in this slight situation! One of my friends has been in the same situation before with a past boyfriend & now her current. I thought for sure she would be the one I could count on to talk to & she would have that shoulder to cry on when I needed it. When I have needed her VERY MUCH she hasn't given me any kind of support. When I go home I just want to cry because I feel so alone & I don't have one person I can turn to that can help me or even just to say, "You will be alright & you two will make it through this." Right now it is doubly hard because he just got sent back to prison. I am waiting for my phone # to be approved so we can talk. Also, through the state of Illinois they started this new program called Phase, for 90 days inmates have to wear jumpsuits, get 1 1 hour visit behind glass, they can only buy 2 letters & make 2 phone calls. So now he can only write me 2 times a month & he can call 2 times until May. When Erick was transfered out of jail to prison DOC screwed up all of his paperwork & he got sent to the wrong prison. Of course this prison is 5 hours away from me so to drive out there for only 1 hour is very hard. He doesn't want me to go & see him right now, but I don't think I can wait until he gets transfered to the other prison in May to see him all day. The days just seem to drag on for me, everytime the phone rings I just pray it's Erick & that we can finally be able to talk. When it's not, I just sit there & cry & wish that I could hear his voice or have a letter from him. I also wish that I could be able to count on my friends to help me through this, but they don't seem to care not even the one that has been through this. If there is someone out there that would like to talk or to give me some advice on how to cope with these friends & my not being able to talk to Erick as much for the next couple months. I would really appreciate it!
Thank you for reading this & I am very glad for this webiste.


By Anonymous on Saturday, August 3, 2002 - 12:27 am:

I was so glad to have found this site. My boyfriend was sentenced to four years on a probation violation. He had a really messy relatioship with and ex and now here he is. He's such a wonderful person and was working so hard to get his life back and now this. No one understands and everyone thinks I'm crazy. They all think I would have had problems with him next had he not gone to jail. That's so hard to deal with. I just love him so much but its hard to listen when people tell you you could do better. On paper I suppose I could, but I just love him so much and just want him home. We have a probationary hearing in August and his sentence may get reduced. I am afraid it will and afraid it won't. I don't know how I feel- I'm so confused. I feel like I am trapped in a bad lifetime movie. Any support or encouragement is welcomed. I just feel so alone.


By Tina Osborne on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 10:33 pm:

WOW!
This web site is just what I needed and as I read
the diffrent messages I now know that I aint feeling these feeling's alone. My Best- friend lover and everything in between was taken by the prison system for his fourth time.He really is the sweetest person that I have ever met and I love him with all my heart . To know him is to love him. And some how trouble found him . I have never been in a relationship where the one I was with had to go to Prison.I have been Pen Pal's to many already doing time.Maybe that is why I am having a really hard time copeing with our seperation.As well as the day that we met we have not spent one day apart from one another. Im so scared and lonely with out him by my side and to think that I am going to spend the next to year's without him is tearing me apart inside. Please e-mail me a line or two if for some reason any of this make's sense to you.Or if you might feel the way I do.


By Teenie on Wednesday, August 21, 2002 - 10:38 pm:

WOW!
This web site is just what I needed and as I read
the diffrent messages I now know that I aint feeling these feeling's alone. My Best- friend lover and everything in between was taken by the prison system for his fourth time.He really is the sweetest person that I have ever met and I love him with all my heart . To know him is to love him. And some how trouble found him . I have never been in a relationship where the one I was with had to go to Prison.I have been Pen Pal's to many already doing time.Maybe that is why I am having a really hard time copeing with our seperation.As well as the day that we met we have not spent one day apart from one another. Im so scared and lonely with out him by my side and to think that I am going to spend the next to year's without him is tearing me apart inside. Please e-mail me a line or two if for some reason any of this make's sense to you.Or if you might feel the way I do. twisted200298444@hotmail.com


By babyg on Tuesday, May 13, 2003 - 01:02 pm:

i know exactly what you all are going through i went through it for 3 long years, as soon as they catch him ill be there again but this time for a long time cause this is his 3rd time an now he is on the run an i haven't heard from him in months, an im so worried about him i don't know why he won't at leased call me an let me know he is ok an alive i don't even know that, he just never got ahold on his drug problem, an now he is in trouble again due to his drug use causing him to steal from family an they filed charges on him an with him being still on parole he is in big trouble, i miss him so much it hurts i find myself just setting down an crying alot since he has left he an i were so close an have been through so much together i don't understand why he just won't let me know if he is ok an alive so i won't worry so much i haven't been able to sleep in months since he has been gone, sometimes i just do not know what to do for missing him so much an worring about him,i really needed to get that out thanks for listen if anyone needed someone to talk to please feel free to email me at anytime (babyg6822@yahoo.com


By nursekimber on Thursday, August 14, 2003 - 10:01 am:

I know what everyone is going through!! My man has been gone for 13 months with another 9 months to go. I miss him so much! As many of you have said, nobody understands why I wait for him.It's because I love him. The loneliness is the worst. I would appreciate any suggestions from others in the same situation. God bless you all!!


By lobasola on Sunday, May 9, 2004 - 11:12 pm:

Yes its very difficult...talk about a short 13 months...my husband needs to serve 10 years....i love him...but i am afraid to wait and then really have no life...he has been gone 6 months and it already feels like forever...please help....should i wait? or should i go on with life...? I have absolutely no children with him...just the love and i know he is my soul mate...but i am completely alone


By Michelle Morgan on Tuesday, June 8, 2004 - 12:38 am:

I wonder how many people are out there with a story like mine. I was a county correction officer back in 1998. I was working in the holding cells area and the state brought in an inmate that won my heart. I quit my job and went to see this inmate that was being housed 3 hours away from my house. I continued to see him and even divorced my cop husband to be with him if or when he got out. I went to see him almost every weekend if not every other weekend. In 1999 he asked me to do things that were againt my morals but I did them any ways. In the summer of 2000, I called it off when his buddy told me that he was using me and others told me the same thing. Tony never left my thoughts and was always there and close to my heart. I became a juvenile correction officer for the state and I had one of my buddies to check the state prison info to see if Tony was still locked up. He was after being released in the year of 2001 and then back in in 2002. He had some personal problems going on and broke the law again. So I write to see how he is doing and he writes me back to tell me that he has changed and all he wants from me is a friendship. That isn't a problem for me so I become his penpal and listen to him. Then I met this guy in the freeworld and stop writing once again to pursue a relationship with this guy. He dumped me just after 10 months and I healed and I was back to writing Tony again. We wrote letters since Decemeber 2003 and in January he was asking me to come and visit and then I was put on his list to visit. The first time I saw him I knew I was still in love with him and didn't want to loose him again. What I didn't know at that time was that he still had court pending and was sentenced to another 3 years this past May. This gives him 6 years to serve but with good behavior he can get out in 4 years. He told me he wouldn't take parole that he wanted to flatten his time. He has changed and he tells me that when he gets out he wants us to get be together. I feel this time that he really does love me but from the past I still doubt this is real. He wanted to know if I could handle this and wait for him. I told him yes. We love each other so much but I wonder if I can be true to him and stay faithful. I kiss his picture good night every night and wish he was there in the bed next to me. My question is this for the ones that have been holding on and staying faithful, is it worth it? I mean it seems I keep coming back to him so should I just hang on and wait for him? Please help I need to know if you think it's worth it.


By goodgirl on Friday, June 18, 2004 - 04:40 pm:

michelle, well i am not sure what you should do exatly but i am in a little similar situation except i am the third person. The situation is that a guy i dated (whenever he is out) called me while locked up again and told me that he wanted to be with me and my kids and that he will get a real job and wants me to leave my kids dad (because he wasnt taking care of me right and is also locked up) for him. well before he had told me that i had heard from a friend that he had a girlfriend who was a correction officer and worked where he was locked up. then later i heard that she lost her job because of him and that they were married. so when he called i had asked him. He told me that no they are not married but he needed some one to send him money because who else would. he has asked if he can parole to my house when he gets out so i believe they are not married(i said NO). kind of similar to your story huh. hopefully he is not using you. i think you should maybe be there for him emotionaly and not financialy. I have NEVER sent my kids dad any money when he was locked up all those 7 times in 7 years, or any one else and they still stick around well my problem is do i trust him and leave my kids dad. It is hard because my kids dad has been doing good now and says that he will get a job and take care of us. They are both telling me the samething. if i get back with my kids dad and he messes up again then i wont have another chance with the other one but if i get with the other then i blow chances with my kids dad and having a real family if he has really straightend out. All i can say is good luck and i hope things work out for you. and me too.


By michelle morgan on Saturday, June 19, 2004 - 09:21 pm:

goodgirl,
wow, you sound like you need to have someone to listen to you. I have no kids with this man in Prison but a part of me wish I did but I am glad I don't. Things can only get better for you and you have to make that decision and hope for the best. I wouldn't know what or even how to tell you how to go about that situation. I went and saw Tony today and he wanted to know if I would marry him while he was locked up, my answer was no. His mother's desire is to see her son get married in a church. I respect her wishes and told him we should wait and that if we are meant to be then we will be together. He did tell me that if he went up for parole that he would take it so he could be out with me. I will keep you in my prayers. Good luck!


By Anonymous on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 04:14 pm:

i know what you all are going threw. my husband has been in and out threw out our relationship. if i had known all the troubles i would have i think i would walk away. well i have but now that i am going to church i am going to try to give it one more chance because he sees that i am struggling with our kids, house, bills, and being alone. he says he will give church a try. i have 1 1/2 years to find out. i just keep praying that he is serious. I have been threw to much with and with out him. i do have one thing to say, if i had a second chance i dont think id stick around the first time this had happend. I warn the girls in my family to watch out for those guys that already been in. they might have liked it. of course not all of them.


By good girl on Monday, June 21, 2004 - 04:21 pm:

Michelle,
hi congratulations and good luck with your "fiance". My kids dad had asked me to marry him too while in there. Nope i said. i been waiting years i can wait a while longer to see if he is straightening out. his mom has been wanting us to get married for a long time because she knows i am a real "Good Girl". i hope he becomes a good Boy.


By Michelle Morgan on Tuesday, October 12, 2004 - 09:20 am:

good girl,
it's been while since I have been on here..so busy with my kids and things and was wondering how you and your children's fatehr are getting along? Tony and I are still seeing each other. His buddy got out last Saturday 10-09-04 and I am sure he is having a hard time with it. I am going up next sunday to see him..hope all is well with you...Michelle


By Anonymous on Wednesday, October 13, 2004 - 06:05 pm:

I just wanted to say a few things to all of you. I know personally how EASY it is to fall for a guy in prison. I have had several pen pals and I got very involved with the first one and learned the hard way to guard my heart and not be so stupid again. I do believe he truly cared but then they get out and there priorities change. I think the reason they are so easy to love is because you feel like you have them all to yourself and they need you in some way. They seem to say just what you want to hear and I think that most really mean it with all sincerety at the moment. But it is devestating to put your life on hold and devote so much time and help to someone to have him just forget you when he gets out! Pen Pals can make wonderful friends but the risk of getting your heart involved is high. I still have pen pals but I am very caucious and try my best to keep my emotions in check. I'm not trying to discourage anyone or even myself. I'm just being realistic here. I have been writing a new one for the past 8 months and I find my self feeling very anxious about him and it troubles me but I'm lonely and I love to write and help others. Maybe because we are women it is some type of motherly instinct that takes over, I don't know it's a weird situation indeed!


By miime on Thursday, October 14, 2004 - 11:43 pm:

This website is so interesting and it is really helpful. Like Michelle I also was a correctional officer and I met this guy inside there like 10 years ago. I was living with someone and was pretty into that relationship; therefore nothing ever happened, but that guy has always been on my mind. I am no longer a correctional officer, so I asked around to see if he was still locked up and where he was at, if he was. I found out, so I wrote him and he was very surprised (that's putting it mildly). He said that he figured I was scared and didn't want to loose my job, etc....as to why I wouldn't get any closer to him. He says that he wants to be friends and has not really pushed for anything more. In every letter he brings up all this stuff that happened that I had totally forgotten about and it just surprises me, because it has been so long ago.
This is so crazy to me....I don't know what I want to do. I wanted to see how he was doing and I don't know if I should continue writing him. I worked in there long enough to know the way some of those guys operate....I know how they flirt and try to get relationships started with anyone that will start one with them.....Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Should I continue to be his friend or stop responding? One of my friends says I should stop, because he may not have the best of intentions. Who knows?!?!?
One last thing...he is divorced now and he is serving a 50 year sentence...


By Janine on Friday, October 15, 2004 - 01:39 pm:

Miime,
You asked. If it were me I would stop the contact. 50 years is a long time and there are plenty of other free men in the world. You wanted to see how he was doing and you have done that. Leave well enough alone.
I know everyone is different but that would be my advice.


By Caroline Lister on Monday, November 8, 2004 - 01:36 pm:

I am new to this.. My husband is going to prison rehab this Wed. and will be gone for a year. HE was charge with Assault w/ a Deadly Weapon. I say I am alone, b/c I lost my family over this.. I forgave my husband and we are reconciling. Which made my family MAD! They just disowned me! My in-laws are okay.. Father-in-law and step-mother-in-law are more supportive than my mother-in-law, whom hated me from the get go of my marriage to her son! (I am Asian and husband is white) I have 2 kids and my mother is threatening to take away my son, because he is NOT blood to my husband.. He came from a failed marriage.. My husband would not hurt my kids..he loves them, but my family insists, once an abuser always an abuser! That is not true when it comes to my husband.. What happened that night was a fight that went overboard. I am alone and I want my husband back.. If I could turn back time, i would have done things differently! Does anyone else's family disapprove of their loved one? I hope I am not alone on this please email me! I am scared!
Caroline


By michellei on Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - 08:07 pm:

Miime, i was reading these postings and couldnt help but respond to yours, stop the contact, i know it is easier said than done, maybe i should take my own advice,ha ha but as you've said you see how some of the guys operate, you know the statistics for when a guy gets out the relationship ends etc etc, if was 5 years i would say give it a go and see what happens but 50 years is a long time for a person to put there life on hold, they say we only get one life and we are a long time dead, Miime let him go,you have found out how he is doing, move on girl,it's just too long to take that chance and not be sure of the outcome, if you had kids and were already married it would be different, but u no ties, go and reach for the stars.


By miime on Saturday, January 1, 2005 - 09:20 pm:

Thanks for the feedback. I have not been in contact with him since the first of November. He has wrote and sent a Christmas card, etc.....I do think the best thing was for me to stop, before I got in any deeper. Again thanks for the comments.


By Anonymous on Thursday, November 24, 2005 - 09:53 pm:

It was scary as well as comforting reading the other messages. I am involved with a man who still has 2 years to do. We met through his mom, who is my neighbor. We started writing to each other, then I went to visit him. The connection was instant between us and I haven't missed a visit since. I do feel love for him and I feel he loves me too. But the loneliness is very hard and I long to be held. We write to each other and he calls once a week. I am also 10 years older than him but he claims it doen't matter to him. I belive him most of the time but sometimes the doubts to creep in. When I tell him of my doubts, he mananges to reassure me. I want to be faithful to him until he is released. The man I have met is special. How do I live with the longing? How will I ever manange to be without a man's touch for that long?


By michelle m on Sunday, April 2, 2006 - 12:51 am:

Well I am back and have some good news and some bad news. Tony and I are together today but hasn't been the case always. We have broken up and have been unable to stay away from each other. We love each other so much but I am ashamed of his whereabouts so I keep him as a secret.
His friend that got out in 10/2004, was murdered a couple of months later. It was a sad time for us and caused us to have some issues. Then my daughter got pregnant and her boyfriend shot two boys and one died. Now my daughter is facing her love being sentenced to a chance of 50+ years in prison and my granddaughter looses also.
Tony can't handle my roller coaster rides that I go on from being confused and depressed. It's not easy loving someone that you can't go to bed with and hold and know they are safe. I was going up to see him today but his parents are going up and doing the cookout thing with him. How can I feel so insecured about a man who is locked up behind a fence?


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