I just wanted to say is that you are not alone out there. I too, am going through the same nightmare with my husband. And hopefully (depending on what the parole board says) he will be released either the end of this year or the beginning of next year a free man, without the hinderances of being on parole. I know what you're going through, the lonliness, the worry about how you and your families left behind will manage, the stigma attached by society in general to anyone who would dare to love someone who is living behind bars. All I can say is be strong, keep the faith and do what your heart tells you to do if you truly believe that it is the right thing to do. No one else will understand unless they are in your situation, so you must be strong. Do what you can, and let God take care of the rest. Good Luck and God Bless to you all and please take care of yourselves, for you cannot be an effective support for your loved one if you allow yourself to get run down and depressed.

Maxine,
I just wanted to say that I sincerely hope that your husband gets out at the end of the years like you said in your message. My husband is being sentenced in two days on two unarmed robbery charges. I know that I must prepare myself for him going to prison but it is the hardest thing that I will ever have to do. So many people say that I should just move on with my life, as if I could just stop loving him like that. I cannot stop loving him because of this anymore than I could stop loving him because he has a drug problem. I guess, that if this is what it takes for him to turn his life around than I will be thankful for it. He has only been gone for four months and it all ready feels like forever. Our five year old daughter misses him unbelievably and it is so hard to explain to her why her daddy can't come home right now. Well, I know that I am going on and on. Sometimes it just gets so hard and it feels like noone understand. Anyway, good luck to you and my prayers are with you.

Susan

Susan, I to have friends and family that want me to move on with my life. I'm 23... we will be married now for 2 years in Oct. He is a very very great Man. I met him after he turned his life around. In May he had a mid-life crisis/mental breakdown(he's 30) and turned back to drugs. I do not know how to deal with that. Trying to explain to friends and family that never met him is very hard. They either want to hurt him or want me to leave him. How can I explain to these people that he is a very good guy? I've never done any type of drugs before. I don't know where he is coming from. How do I relate with him or help him when he has questions I know nothing about? I know how I've dealt with stresses and I have told him that I'll help him learn new tactics for dealing with problems... other than escape through drugs and alcohol.

Kim,
I met my fiance 18 yrs ago (which we was just good friends back then). I moved away shortly after high school and lost touch with him. For many years I tried to find him and finally did last Aug 2003. Well a few years ago he got into drugs and they waited for 2 yrs to incarcerate him. He explained all of this to me when we first started talking again. I now am missing the best man to come into my life. I am thankful that my family understands and they had a chance to meet him. But not sure how people that don't know him will react. I am standing tall...for I believe in him. In the 2 yrs that he was waiting for sentencing, he has turned his life around. He quit drugs on his own and did everything he could for the government. He also served in the gulf war and was in the Navy for 4 yrs previously. It was hard to believe that none of that mattered in the judges eyes. Hang in there. Believe whats in your heart. Thats the only thing that matters.
Angie

Angie,
Just read your message to Kim. Wow, did it hit close to me. The man I'm in love with I too have know for a long time. We went our ways and now today, he is divorced and I am about 2 weeks away from my divorce being final. We got pretty close about 3 years ago. He was into drugs but I always saw the person beyond the drugs. He calls me every night. I love him and he loves me. I don't know just what my family thinks , they keep pretty quiet. I was raised in a very strict religous home and his grandmother is a church going woman as is many members of his extended family. He says he is through with drugs, my God, I hope so.
Jeannie

I am only 17 I have a boyfriend in Jail. Bad thing about it is the fact that i dont know what to do i love him so much and wish we had parted on better terms we kinda having a little disagreement before he left me I wish i had not been so immature that maybe i had been abelt to be a better person in forgiving him and say that things happen and to get over it now i have to wait six months to hold him i know thats not a very long compared to some peoples sentence but its long enough for a scared 18 year old I love him and cant wait till i can hold him again.

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